Tammy and I never thought we were going to be able to have children, and for the longest time early on in our marriage, that was a real bummer! We tried lots of stuff, but finally, the Lord took care of everything, and He put together our family exactly the way He wanted to. Why do we ever doubt His abilities? Oh well, that's a topic for another day.
Just today, someone asked me just an amazingly basic question, but it was one that has (and has had) amazingly profound consequences and blessings during my years as a dad. The question was something like this, "What is the most important thing I can do as a father as I raise my son?" I LOVED THAT QUESTION!
Now, please...before we even go any further, understand that I am FAR from being a perfect dad. I'm really not even close to that level. However, there are some things that, looking back, I feel we've done pretty well. One of those, from my estimation, goes to the heart of what the question asked of me represents. (Again, this is from my own perspective. Someone else may very well have a totally different answer, and believe me when I say, their answer could very well be a better one than the one I gave.)
But, this is where my heart led me as I gave my answer. I said, "The most important thing you can let your son know is that he means everything to you. You've got to let him know that there's nothing more important to you than him." Sure, there are 'spiritualizations' we can all use to take this question someplace that it doesn't even need to go: Of course God is first! Of course my wife is second only to God. I'm not talking about those two areas. But rather, I'm talking about the place our kids have to occupy in our hearts, and I'm talking about the fact that they must KNOW they occupy that spot. (By the way, if you put God first in your life, and your life is all about doing His work, His ministry, etc., and you forsake your kids, I've got some really bad news for you...your priorities are possibly jacked, because God would never want you to do that). Anyhow, I need to get back to the point...that was just a soapbox moment. It just saddens me that too many ministry professionals are married to, and are the father to, their jobs...and the ones who matter most sit at home without them, suffering. From where I sit, this is a real tragedy!
For me, always knowing that Seth and Kyle know that they mean so very much to me has given me a level of peace that we're doing something right. They've always known that there's no meeting more important than their phone call (or text). They've always known that, if at all humanly possible, my rear is going to be in the audience or the bleachers to watch their games or concerts or competitions. They've always known that we'll move heaven and earth to spend one-on-one time with them ANY CHANCE we get. Now that my oldest is getting ready to head to college in a few months, I even wish there had been more of those times. There were times (and I am being really transparent here), when I was a pastor, when people had a FIT over the fact that I wanted to get out of the church service as quickly as possible on Sunday morning so I could get to the baseball field to watch Seth play. I said then, and I say to this day, that churches come and go (and that has been the case), but my family is here to stay. No regrets on this point. I promise you that!!! Moving on...
Here's the deal: One of these days, those boys will be out on their own, and if God allows, they'll have kids of their own. It is my profound hope that they will, in turn, live their lives as dads in this same way as I've tried to show them by my own priorities...that their kids will go to bed every night believing that they hung the moon in their dad's eyes; and that they are at the top of the list of their dad's priorities. If I've instilled that in them, and if they in turn pass that along to their own children, then I'll feel as though (at least in this one area), we've been successful. At that point, when that time comes, I'll go to bed at night as one happy grandpa, too. That better be a long way off though. I'm too young for that.
