You know, our lives are so shaped by the things we encounter at a very young age. For instance, it's a proven fact that a child has a much better chance of showing love and compassion to his or her own children later in life if love and compassion was shown to him or her when they were young. By the same token, if a child was abused in some fashion when it was young, he or she has an incredibly high chance of continuing that very same abusive behavior with his or her own child some day. We just learn so much from the adults in our lives, which tells me, once again, that our kids really do watch what we do, and they really do hear what we say...and how we say it.
When I was a kid, I honestly had a lot of mixed messages coming at me on a daily basis...as did my brothers. On the one hand, we knew that our mom was a strong Christ-follower who would give the food right out of her mouth for her kids if she needed to. She took us to church. She sacrificed so much for her boys. By the same token, my dad was a hard-working provider. He truly would work his rear off out in the cold to make sure his kids were properly cared for. However, what he neglected to show us, until much later in his life, was a picture of what a Godly man looked like. In fact, in many ways, he showed us the opposite of that growing up. He had lots and lots of struggles that were well-known by those who lived under our roof. I'm sure my brothers feel the same as I do, but I learned, again at a very young age, some attributes and behaviors that I wanted to make sure never darkened my life. I truly hope I've been successful in those endeavors. To be honest, that's been one of the driving forces of my life...almost to a fault.
However, you cannot allow yourself to be completely pigeon-holed and defined by the negative experiences of your life. If I've learned anything, it's that I still am in charge of the things that are going to ultimately define me and make me who I am. Am I going to focus on the "bad" things, or am I going to find the "good" and the positive things, and think on those them? Isn't that an age-old question to answer for all of us?
See, like Paul Harvey used to say, "And now, here's the rest of the story..." When I was 15, my dad accepted Christ into his life and in a way that is more profound than in any person I've ever seen, he was truly changed! I mean, it was absolutely PROFOUND! The old habits were gone. The old language was replaced. His entire attitude changed. I'm being totally serious. It was absolutely the most amazing transformation I've ever seen, and in the way He does it, Jesus kept him until the day he took his last breath about 10 years ago.
Now, I have something more than the crappy old bad things that I saw prior to his life-change to focus on, and so do my kids (and even Tammy, because she never knew the "old" him). We have a picture of what can happen when Jesus comes into the picture to look at. For me, I saw the unfailing love of the Lord go to the deepest depths and rescue a guy whose life was absolutely messed up. I saw that God never gave up on my dad, even when my dad did very little to reciprocate for a very long time. God never ran out on John Gorman, and He has never run out on me, either. Honestly, it's a picture that I will never forget, and one I believe which ultimately gave me the desire to work in the ministry of rescue. See, what the Lord could do for my dad, He can do for any guy who walks through the front door of this Mission. Hallelujah! He can do it! He can, and He will change every life who will be open to His love, His forgiveness, and His salvation. This even works for a guy like my dad who had been in prison; who had a filthy vocabulary; who was addicted to stuff; who had cheated on my mom; and the list goes on. God rescued Him. The old was gone. The new had come!
See, that night he accepted Christ not only changed his life, but it changed mine, too. Our whole family tree was changed, in fact. So, in a very real way, we are shaped by the things which happen when we're younger. Are we going to focus on only the bad things, or will we choose to remember some of those good times, and allow our lives to be positively impacted by those events? That choice is ours, and only ours to make. But, take my word for it (because I've seen it up close and personal), the Lord's love never fails; it never gives up; it never runs out on us. That's what I want to remember.
